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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a procrastinator and a prognosticator? Well, I haven't come up with the punchline yet, but you can probably see where I'm going with it."

"If you're keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you're losing."

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Zero, they will just beat the room for being black."

"First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes her skin had the glow of a peach her cheeks were like apples and her lips like cherries - that's my girl. Second boy: Sounds like a fruit salad to me."

"What would you get if you crossed a dinosaur with a pig? Jurassic pork!"

"Taking my dog for a walk Taking my quadriplegic dog for a walk is a real drag."

"On $15 I could travel the world.. of Warcraft"

"Why do they call me the fireman? Cause I turn on the hoes"

"my wife said ive got a drink problem over the holidays........ .........yes you're right , ive only got one mouth. badum tsss."

"Who's the most famous jewish Pokemon trainer? Ash"