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Joke of the Day

"I'm trying to do unto others as I would have done to me, but they're all ""stop thrusting at me, this is a church service; please sit down"""

"What's the difference between feminism and a $100 bill? A $100 bill makes change"

"My friend told me it's impossible to avoid cops But I know there's waze."

"There's nothing a floored gas pedal and cranked music can't cure."

"You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body."

"What do you call an anorexic lady with a yeast infection? A Quarter Ponder with Cheese."

"Knock knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'll never forget"

"Yesterday I watched Rogue One, featuring a cameo from Carrie Fisher. One hour later she was dead. So today I'll be watching Home Alone 2."

"You've failed history again ! Well you always told me to let bygones be bygones !"

"i NEVER VOTED FOR A PRESiDENT BECUZ iF iM GUNNA WASTE MY GAS THEN iT BETTER BE ON SOMETHiNG iMPORTANT LiKE DRiViNG TO CHiCK-FiL-A"