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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the cross-eyed carpenter? He *literally* can't even."

"Adult joke My friend said the way he would want to die by blowjob, i told him it would be a quick death."

"Fun prank: 1. Steal your married friends phone 2. Change your name to 'Brandi from the club' 3. Call repeatedly at 3AM and hang up"

"Why will Michael B Jordan make a bad Human Torch? Because it's supposed to be the Fantastic Four, not the Fantastic Fo'!"

"Donald Trump is going to be president in 4 days. That..that's it..."

"Greek mythology in 3 words Zeus got horny"

"What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a pedophile? alien vs predator"

"I'm sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn't really prepared for any follow-up conversation."

"What did it say on the former chairman of the Hypochondriac Association's tombstone? Told you!"

"Went to my daughter's netball finals yesterday. What a semi."