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Joke of the Day
"My wife said I'd look good in a beard, I wasn't sure... But it grew on me!"
Next Joke
"Consuming alcoholic beverage is prohibited in my office! So I sit down with root beer on a square table sometimes."
"What's the difference between my penis and the Three Stooges? Women don't point and laugh at the Three Stooges."
"The ""eye for an eye"" philosophy isn't exactly a level playing field if your grievance is with a cyclops."
"While standing in the queue looking at my phone... I'm online online"
"I dance in my car, unashamed, in hopes of one day driving beside somebody as fun as me and sparking a dance off."
"How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with, ""A man once told me..."""
"Honey, give me the baby. -Wait until he cries -Until he cries..? Why..? -Because I can't find him..."
"Why do feminists always complain about video games? Because they're too stupid to learn how to make them."
"News: Video of black Baltimore mother beating her rioting son goes viral. She beat him so hard the police gave her a job application."