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Joke of the Day

"How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with, ""A man once told me..."""

"What did the failing kidney say to the healthy one? Urine charge now."

"People nowadays take pictures, not for memories, but to post them on Facebook and get comments."

"How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it. I'll show myself out."

"What do you say to a man with no body and no nose? No body nose."

"If Bill O'Reilly and Barbara Walters got married what would they name the baby? Baba O'Reilly"

"A vagina is like the weather. Once its wet, it's time to go inside."

"When it comes to making Pokemon puns you could say I'm Machamp"

"Yes, I said I was sorry and that I'd do anything to win you back. But that was before you told me you needed a ride to the airport at 5am."

"I dated Stephen Hawking but had to break it off. He just wasn't a very stand-up guy."