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Joke of the Day

"Honey, give me the baby. -Wait until he cries -Until he cries..? Why..? -Because I can't find him..."

"What's white and covers the road in the early morning? Employed people."

"Fart Jokes Are sometimes shitty."

"What is it called when the Queen farts? a noble gas!"

"""you look good have you been working out"" [me thinking about earlier when i taekwondo kicked a birdbath like 7 times til it fell over] Yeah"

"First world problems: ""My fingers are frozen! I can't type!"" Third world problems: ""My fingers are frozen! I'll have to amputate them!"""

"From a Latin FAQ Q: In latin, when pairing foods with the verb **edo** (""I eat""), what case should you use? A: The om-nom-nominative."

"Did you want to row or paddle? Either oar..."

"What do you call a dog from another planet? A dal-martian"

"I'm gonna be celebrating MLK the only way I know how... By napping, because you can't have a dream if you aint sleeping."