49489

Joke of the Day

"Set a man a fire and he'll stay warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he'll stay warm for the rest of his life."

"What do you call an Alaskan hooker? A frostitute."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes, legs, or genitalia? Still no fucking eye deer."

"My son turns 18 today. I bought him a set of luggage for his birthday. Too forward? Maybe it's too forward."

"Did you hear about the man who left his job at the mortuary? It was a dead end job."

"FYI: If someone says ""I'm game,"" you can legally shoot them. You should probably check your state and local hunting regulations though."

"What's big, thick, hairy, and makes babies? Your mom."

"I think I owe my right hand a Valentines Day card!"

"Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend either the car is new or the girlfriend is."

"A band director asked his band why it is so difficult for everybody to come in at the same time. A student replied saying... Mabey they all don't fit through the door."