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Joke of the Day

"JFK and Abe Lincoln were two of the greatest president of all history. I think it's because they were so Open Minded."

"Try this one crazy trick to get people to click on things! See. It worked."

"Everyone says they want a fairytale wedding. But when I show up and curse their firstborn, suddenly I'm the jerk..."

"What does a walrus and tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal."

"I had a huge home party last night and I was unpleasantly woken up by a surprise blow job. Next time I'll sleep with my mouth closed."

"What do you call your mom who used to be your dad? A transparent ( )"

"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant. But then I changed my mind."

"Just saw the first duckface of Spring."

"A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos."

"Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face."