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Joke of the Day

"moms outraged over new ninja turtels movie. ""theres too much violence"" says one mom. says another ""they r named after guys who sculpt butts"""

"When I search Canadian cats in Google... It just gives me a bunch of lynx."

"I give it 6 months before Banksy does a graffiti of the statue of liberty with the snapchat dogface filter on it"

"Why is George Bush always on the bottom when having sex? Because he can only fuck up!"

"Peanut Butter A man walks into a psychiatrist's office masturbating with a jar of peanut butter. He asks the doctor, ""Well, whaddya think?"". The doctor replied, ""I think you're fucking nuts."""

"A very interesting poem > I dig > You dig > He dig > She dig > They dig > We dig It might not be very long, but I think it is very deep."

"[wife looking at sketch of donut burglar on the news] ""he looks like you"" [me holding huge glass of milk on way to basement] it's not though"

"I don't steal my tweets from song lyrics! Seriously. Y'all gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here."

"what did the cloud say to the atmosphere? what the hail was that?!"

"My wife and I were convicted of paedophilia The kids are taking it pretty hard."