49323

Joke of the Day

"5 steps to a happy marriage: 1. Doritos 2. Oreos 3. Pez 4. Mr. Noodles 5. Oops this is my grocery list. 6. Still applicable."

"For the past couple of years, I have been saying that the only holidays worth celebrating are the equinoxes and the solstices. I find all of the others to be astronomically unimportant."

"A black man went into a bank and asked for a job. ""You're in luck!"" said the manager. $50 thousand a year, and a car!! ""You're joking!"" said the black man. ""Of course I'm joking. But you started it!!"""

"Watermelons and Catcuses There are two watermelons and two cacti. One cactus says to the other ""Damn look at those melons!"" The Watermelons reply ""Wow they're such pricks."""

"There are three kinds of people in the world... ...Those who can count, and those who can't."

"Twitter is awesome. You can have a boyfriend right in your phone. Available at all times. Unless his wife's around."

"Sally Jokes Why did sally fall of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock? *who's there?* Not Sally."

"Today my family is celebrating my dad's 100 days w/o alcohol he is in a coma"

"While at work ""You must love putin"" ""Why?"" ""Because your a rushin!"""

"Guys, this may all be some sort of marketing ploy, but if the email I just received is accurate then local singles want to fuck."