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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when Feminists own an independent sovereign state? A CUNTry. Yes, I'm terrible."

"She doesn't follow Newton's law I give her a stare but she doesn't give me an equal and opposite reaction"

"Did you know that 95% of Jews aren't Jews? They're dead"

"How do you react when looking in the mirror? You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar."

"Instead of murder/suicide, I'm contemplating the rare suicide/murder, whereby I jump out a high window and land on my girlfriend."

"I cant get on Tumblr anymore... My doctor told me to cut down on Trans-Fats"

"Donald Trump is not a rapist. He's an ""alternative romantic."""

"A million dollar idea: Diapers for birds."

"What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador! Woof"

"A Thursday night ""Just got Paroled!"" party down the street! Wooooo! HELL YEAH!! I'm gunna wear my best knife for this one y'all!"