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Joke of the Day

"My friend said he didn't mind homosexuality, just didn't like it in his bedroom. I asked, ""have you tried the kitchen?"""

"[Bad joke] The other day my sister asked me what the difference between cellular division and a sock is To which I replied 'Nothing, they both involve mitosis'"

"A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, ""Bartender, how much do I owe you?"" The bartender replies, ""For you, neutron, no charge."""

"What did the Nazi interrogater say to the clock that would only tick? ""Ve have vays of making you tock!"""

"Golf is probably fun if you like walking around outside in business casual."

"Every time I hold a baby I have to talk my ovaries down like a hostage negotiator. ""18 to life, man. I KNOW IT SMELLS GOOD! Stay with me."""

"An idea only achieves transcendence after it is: 1. Published as book 2. Made into a feature film 3. Turned into an amusement park ride"

"What do you call a little polish boat? A Jetski."

"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts!"

"How is Santa like a paedophile? They both leave children's bedrooms with empty sacks."