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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the perverted statistician? Standard deviation wasn't enough for him anymore..."

"Pretty sure I just heard a grown man wrestle a bear in a bathroom stall at Chipotle."

"Did you guys see the lunar eclipse the other night? I missed it, the earth was in the way."

"A Roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says, ""I'll take five beers, please."""

"I thought we were both kidding when we made plans for me to watch your kid."

"My wife called me an alcoholic, and I was so taken aback I spilled my drink... But I was able to wring out the placemat back into the glass, so everything's ok!"

"Why do people go into technical jobs? Because they suck at communicating so hard, they'd rather fuck a computer"

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a bridge What's come over you? Oh two cars a large truck and a coach."

"Mechanical bull rides are a good place to meet someone with busted genitals."

"The embarrassing moment when you bring handcuffs to 'gamenight' and she brings Monopoly."