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Joke of the Day

"How many guys in the Friendzone does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just stand around complimenting it, and then get pissed when another guy screws it."

"What do you call a blue-eyed blonde that doesn't eat meat? A vegetaryan"

"This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she's not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!"

"Girl said that she would do anything for 5$ guess who just got their car washed."

"Why can't female medical examiners have kids? Because nobody puts baby in a coroner. Hey, at least it was original, again I will see myself out."

"I'm sorry, you'll have to repeat that. I'm not fluent in nonsense."

"""Can you describe your self in two words?"" - Lazy."

"What do you call the unjust murder of someone? Out of the Blue."

"I love to watch the look of panic on my husband's face when I pull a pair of panties out of my drawer and say, ""um, these aren't mine."""

"What's denser than a black hole? Your ex."