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Joke of the Day

"Why was the cook sad when all the water in his pot boiled away? Because he mist it."

"If Kim Kardashian & Snooki were drowning & I could only save one, I'd have a hard time deciding whether to make a sandwich or take a nap."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because no body liked you in high school, and then you caught me speeding."

"When I'm happy, I drink and when I drink, I'm happy. Win/win!!"

"Who makes more money: a prostitute or a drug dealer? Depends on who has the best crack."

"Why can't you barbecue in Amsterdam? Because the steaks are too high."

"Why did the 3d modeler need back surgery? He injured his spline!"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number and you've probably never heard of it."

"There should be a terrible show about a woman, her mom, and her daughter, all 3 named Jennifer, called ""Jenerations"" on Lifetime or the CW."

"[In the back of the car, imitating GPS voice] IN A HALF MILE, TAKE A SLIGHT RIGHT. ALSO PUT ERICS MIXTAPE BACK ON THAT WAS SO GOOD"