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Joke of the Day

"If Kim Kardashian & Snooki were drowning & I could only save one, I'd have a hard time deciding whether to make a sandwich or take a nap."

"A frog jumped higher than a building... ...because buildings can't jump."

"My computer made a funny sound the other day. Of course I've never heard it get thrown out a window before."

"If you could travel the world with only one person, who would that be? Dora. She has like everything in her backpack."

"I told my boss I'm calling in sick today. He said, ""You can't do that when you're already here."" Is that true you guys?"

"Almost had a threeseom. All i needed was 2 more girls."

"""Dad, is that a bear outside the tent?"" ""No."" ""OK."" ""Hold still."" ""What're you putting on me?"" ""Sunscreen."" ""It smells like ketchup."" ""Shhh"""

"What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head ? A tiger moth !"

"If you're a girl and you get a ticket for going 5-10 over the speed limit, you might want to think about plastic surgery."

"Why did my girlfriend go on birth control? Because I wanted her to be a twinkie and not a toaster strudel."