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Joke of the Day

"Who makes more money: a prostitute or a drug dealer? Depends on who has the best crack."

"In Australia, nah-yeah means yes, yeah-nah means no and nah-nah means banana."

"""Let's call it a day."" I don't know what else you'd call it. Calling it a turtle would just sound stupid. ""Lets call it a turtle."" See?"

"I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was sat next to a screaming baby. Apparently that's not allowed if the baby is yours."

"Reddit is really a green community, considering all the recycled content on here."

"To back up his ""every action has an equal and opposite reaction"" theory, Newton should've released one simultaneously saying ""no it doesn't"""

"A girl comes out of Sherlock's office as Watson comes in...he thinks they had sex. ""That girl was in college wasn't she?"" ""Elementary, my dear Watson"""

"I'm not saying the Internet lies, but there is an alarming discrepancy in the number of iPads I've won and the number that I actually own."

"If you don't leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn't get your money's worth."

"What kind of rice puts you to sleep? Ray Rice"