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Joke of the Day
"Why is Light Beer like sex in a canoe? It's fucking close to water"
Next Joke
"[reads chocoholic on tinder bio] Mmm I love chocolate, too [reads workaholic] I work a lot as well [reads catholic] I also am a cat addict"
"Did you guys see the new Mad Max prequel? It was playing on every channel last night"
"I was in the Olympics ,I was favorite in the Errection event But only made it to the Semi's"
"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"
"I want you to drag me to the bedroom, softly lay me down, & kiss my neck. Now go clean the house while I take a nap."
"My grandad has the heart of a lion... ...and a lifetime ban from the Edinburgh zoo"
"Baby metamorphosis I feel like nobody names their baby Craig. One day, around age 35, the baby just becomes Craig. that is all"
"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world, I know because I've done it thousands of times. - shout out to good ol' Mark twain."
"A man seeking to lose some of his excess weight visited the local doctor. John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat? Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off."