48960

Joke of the Day

"What is Force equal to? Double penetration, with respect to time. (F=dp/dt) I'll see myself out"

"I bet all those girls that ignored me in high school would still be pretty pleased with that decision."

"YO mama is so poor... She can't even pay attention"

"What's brown and sounds like a bell? DUNG!!!!"

"If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If life gives you melons... You might have sex daily!"

"How to begin a TIFU post This wasn't today..."

"Why did Frankenstein's monster give up boxing? Because he didn't want to spoil his looks."

"When things are bad, remember: At least you're not as big an asshole as the guy who invented putting walnuts in chocolate chip cookies."

"If you see a glass as half empty, pour it into a smaller glass."

"Why don't elephants smoke? They can't fit their butts in the ashtray"