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Joke of the Day

"Little did he know that his foot powered filing system would have made him billions if he had only thought of a better name - The Ped-o-file"

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"What do you call a con-artist who minored in psychology? Sigmund Fraud"
"I honestly don't know how much longer I can be expected to go on before I inherit a manor with a horrifying secret"
"Chuck Norris is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists."
"An epic story of love Man riding bicycle with gf Man gives gf helmet Man says I love you Man does 720 inverted wheelie Man dies Man in news Woman cries"
"A husband and wife are fighting. The wife says ""You've got the smallest penis I've ever seen!"" The husband shoots back ""Then we're a perfect fit for each other, cause you're a shallow cunt!"""
"I should really stop getting stoned before I shower. I think I just washed my hair 16 times."
"How can you know that you are insecure about what other people think of your post? [deleted]"
"Why do Jews get circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off."
"Sometimes when I'm singing a song a get an urge to skip the chorus... But I always refrain"