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Joke of the Day

"I just found out my on-line girlfriend has a wooden leg. should I break it off?"

"Turns out I'm addicted to refigerated poultry. I've gotta quit cold turkey."

"If you leave me a voicemail, congratulations. You've just given me the gift of anxiety."

"An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... ... and the barman says ""What do you think this is, some kind of joke?"

"We got your viagra A man walks into a pharmacy to pick up some prescription drugs. The pharmacist says: ""oh, we got your viagra!"" The man replies: ""I don't give a fuck anymore"""

"#wecanlandonacometbutwecant let a comet land on us. - Yakov Smirnoff"

"A guy goes to the doctor... The doctor says ""You have to stop masturbating."" The guy says ""Why?"" The doctor says ""...because I'm trying to take your blood pressure."""

"How do you know when an Australian prisoner is raping another prisoner? When they're in an inmate mate"

"Woman always call me ugly until I tell them how much money I earn Then they call me both ugly and poor"

"What is a prime way of knowing when a retard is thirsty? He'll have water on the brain."