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Joke of the Day

"An illegal alien, a communist, and a Muslim walk into a bar The bartender says, ""Hello, Mr. President!"""

"[Dirty] Some more dirt was mysteriously added to my garden last night... The plot thickens"

"For some silly reason my daughter has some sort of crazy idea about losing her hair... I overheard her on the phone the other day telling her best friend that she hoped she'd be 'balled' soon"

"If a 99lb girl eats a 1lb plate of nachos is she technically 1% nachos? I think I'm on to something..."

"Why does a flamingo lift up one leg ? Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over !"

"[Spelling Bee] -Your word is phlegm -Can you use it in a sentence? *loudly clears throat for 5 minutes*"

"fuck homosexuals... ...in the ass, only if both of the people involved agree to do it consciously and consensually"

"What's the best song for a threesome You've got a friend in me."

"You can't trust anyone you meet online I went on a date with a guy I met online last week and stole $250 from him"

"So did you hear about the Angry composer? Apparently, he had a few scores to settle."