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Joke of the Day

"If a 99lb girl eats a 1lb plate of nachos is she technically 1% nachos? I think I'm on to something..."

"An insect just came into my living room and exploded. It was a Jihadi long legs"

"In California... Did you know that in California you cannot take a picture of a woman with a basket of strawberries? ...you need a camera because strawberries do not take pictures."

"Why did God create women? To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet."

"The teacher asks her 6th graders: ""Can anyone tell me the definition of relative humidity?"" Johnny: ""The sweat on your balls when you're fucking your cousin!"""

"Did you hear the latest joke about Baltimore? It's a riot"

"My girlfriend asked me what I feel about being with her. I told her what I truly feel. Numbness radiating down my left arm."

"""Will I ever be able to race my horse again"" the owner asked the vet. The vet replied ""You certainly will and you'll probably beat her too!"""

"Whenever I feel discouraged, I remember the words of my then-3 yr old after she puked carrots on the floor: ""I'm gonna need more carrots."""

"the real people to blame for 911 I heard it was two irish carpenter s paddy and mick fitting doors on the 60th floor paddy told mick to get a plain n take some of the top. Mick misinterpreted"