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Joke of the Day

"You drop ONE baby and everyone's all like, ""Quit juggling babies Steve. You're the worst babysitter ever!"""

"""This is why I hate fancy restaurants, I can never pronounce anything on the menu"" -me, drunk, holding the Waffle House menu upside down"

"I like to wear fur coats, but fur is murder, so I just tied 15 live badgers together and this coat is really scratchy and bitey."

"Why do rappers love weed so much? Because the majority of their relatives used to pick it"

"What did southern, black children bring to school to eat? Lynchables"

"Why did Kyle Crane have to change the lightbulb? because he had a dying light"

"What did one wall say to the other wall? Meet you at the corner."

"As there aren't any female leprechauns, where do leprechauns come from ~ something to ponder every St Patrick's Day"

"What did Mulan's grumpy elderly friends say when they caught her with Li Shang? ""Get off Mu-lan!!!"""

"There was a prison break and I locked eyes with a midget as he climbed up the fence. As he jumped over he sneered at me and I thought, ""Well, that's a little condescending."""