193624
Joke of the Day
"Why do rappers love weed so much? Because the majority of their relatives used to pick it"
Next Joke
"Me: Do you ever feel like you're an imposter? Psychiatrist: Get out of my chair Me: Interesting *writes 'thinks he's the psychiatrist'*"
"I didn't give a f*ck until I drank Red Bull. Now I don't give a flying f*ck."
"What did King Arthur have for breakfast? Eggcalibur."
"I like my girlfriends the same as I like my scotch... 14 years old and on coke"
"[Court] ""Do you swear to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"" Me: yes. *GF from the back* DO THESE PANTS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?"
"My protractor wanted to know what my plans were for this weekend Not sure what his angle is"
"I overheard a woman in a computer store say to the sales assistant ""I want a game capable of holding the interest of my six-year-old but it's got to be simple enough for his father to play too."""
"My music teacher told me to stay on key I said ""pitch please"""
"I'll have a Venti Vodka please."