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Joke of the Day

"I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather.... Instead of commenting on reddit about how many times a joke has been posted."

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"Igloo Building by S Keemo"
"The day I can't do my job drunk... Is the day I hang up my school bus keys."
"Bartender says,""We don't serve time travelers here."" A time traveler walks into the bar."
"What sort of violin does a ghost play? A dreadivarius."
"What do rappers like on their burritos? Waka Flakamole I'll show myself out"
"How a phone recall works. Samsung: Send us your exploding phone. Microsoft/Nokia: A software update will fix that. Apple: You are using it wrong."
"Are you a geologist? You can analyse my rocks anytime ;)"
"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? Its going to take me a while to get hard because I was just laid."
"What sport are Mexicans best at? Cross country."