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Joke of the Day

"For the next president we should just elect the CEO of a dildo company at least they're honest about how they fuck people"

"How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently more than 5, as my basement is still dark"

"What's the difference between a clever midget and an STD? One is a cunning runt."

"The Hillary Phone Just like the Obama Phone, but it deletes all of your emails."

"Have you ever answered your own question? Why yes, I have!"

"Friends are like condoms: They protect you when things get hard."

"The NSA is to blame for obesity in The United States. Because the camera ads 10 pounds."

"What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce patch? A seizure salad!"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid money for a garbanzo to bean on me."

"It's not fair for people to keep comparing Trump to Hitler. Hitler was a decorated war hero and qualified leader."