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Joke of the Day
"[god creating an pigeon] what if i gave this piece of shit wings"
Next Joke
"Naming my daughter ""A Relationship"" so I don't have to worry about punks wanting to be in her."
"If you google ""MySpace"" your computer will ask ""Are you fucking serious right now?"""
"A girl gets fired from her job with a Vegas outcall massage service Seems she rubbed too many guys the wrong way."
"Sex is like a key and a lock. If a lock can be opened by any key, it's useless. If a key can open any lock, that is a good fucking key."
"Hey, did you hear that I'm dating Carbon Monoxide? They're a little clingy though, it feels like they're suffocating me"
"How do you get 50 old ladies to yell ""fuck""? Have one old lady yell ""bingo"""
"What do you call a dead asian? A failure"
"[Stares deeply into date's eyes before going to the bathroom] ""I've counted these fries."""
"Yesterday I avoided a rape of a woman - And how you did it? - I convinced her."