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Joke of the Day
"Can't shake this headache. Perhaps the shaking isn't helping"
Next Joke
"I like my women like I like my cars Fast, loud, and used. Off craigslist."
"Riley can be a little girl's name, it's not always a dog's name. If someone says Riley's been sick don't bring up euthanasia right away."
"What do you call the underwear of someone experiencing nocturnal emissions? Dreamcatchers"
"why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? because he was far out."
"Why do we call rulers ""Your Highness""? because that's what they measure."
"I'm surprised more death row inmates don't choose a machine gun, a key to the prison, and a helicopter for their last meal."
"14yo: My voice keeps randomly changing DOCTOR: That's normal at your age 14yo: [Batman voice] Thank you doctor DOCTOR: That's not normal"
"I was trying to get the bubbles out of my screen protector and I accidentally bought a horse on eBay."
"Just wrote a musical composition about pedophiles... ""Dick"" in A minor"