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Joke of the Day

"I'm surprised more death row inmates don't choose a machine gun, a key to the prison, and a helicopter for their last meal."

"It's hard to explain puns to Kleptomaniacs Because they always take things literally."

"I keep getting calls telling me that I have outstanding bills... ...and while I appreciate the compliment, they're really nothing special."

"There's a fine line between being tan and looking like you were rolled in Doritos."

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A nigga, you occupationalist!"

"Which came first: the chicken or the egg? Trick question; the rooster."

"Good news everyone. The cure for human stupidity has been invented in a convenient pill form. Unfortunately, Donald Trump refuses to take it."

"Tom Swifty ""My mom is my dad!"" Said Tom transparently."

"So my japanese girlfriend dumped me the other day.. .. Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea."

"I came back from war to find out that I had missed the birth of my wife's second child. Turns out, I also missed the conception."