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Joke of the Day
"I got my dog from an orphanage like, two years ago. Those orphans STILL hold a grudge."
Next Joke
"If I liked one of your pics from 12 weeks ago, doesn't mean I'm stalking you...It just means you haven't looked nice in awhile"
"A man's got to know his limitations. Unless he's in a relationship, then he'll be constantly reminded."
"Things the GOP has battled this week: 1. Ethics 2. Intelligence"
"What kind of birds do girls like? My-cawk!"
"How many germans does it take to change a lightbulb? Nein"
"What do you call an entrance to a brothel? Hodor."
"At the library: Librarian: you have 45 cents in late fees. Me: (adjusts bow tie then slides 50 cents across the table) Keep the change"
"Boss: Dan why is your hand raised? Me: can I go to the bathroom? Boss: Dan you're 23. This is a business meeting Me: so that's a yes?"
"What's a waste of time, wrapped up and is regular near Christmas? Shitty Christmas Jokes"