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Joke of the Day
"What did the aliens say, when they came to earth in search of soda pop? Take me to your liter!"
Next Joke
"5 year old: ""That's a big truck!"" ""It's a moving truck."" ""ALL TRUCKS MOVE."" Why am I the one that feels like an idiot?"
"""You've got this,"" I say to myself every time I look up something on WebMD."
"*I gently remove an eyelash from her cheek* ""Make a wish,"" I say. *I am crushed by a T-Rex wearing a saddle seconds later*"
"Why didn't 2x befriend x^2 ? He had trouble integrating"
"Fall is Pumpkin time In the south, they think its time to screw their cousins Pump kin"
"What's a slutty witch's favorite holiday? Swalloween!"
"911? I'm a man trapped in a woman's body! ""That's not exactly an emergency."" Oh. Huh. Ok. *Tries door in Statue of Liberty again*"
"Remember: Before you were Mommy's little darling you were Daddy's little squirt."
"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face"