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Joke of the Day

"""You've got this,"" I say to myself every time I look up something on WebMD."

"There are two rules for success... 1. Never reveal everything that you know."

"There are three types of people in this world. People who can count and people who can't."

"Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? A: It's all in the grip."

"Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed"

"What's the best thing about dating a homeless chick? You can drop her off anywhere!"

"Also, kids? Don't DM us pretending you are some school official cancelling school. Closings don't work like that. & we're not that dumb."

"Wheres the best place to hide a body? Page 2 of google search results"

"I just found a little puppy on the sidewalk and it started TALKING! It was weird but tasted great."

"Top 10 Ways To Avoid Clickbait, Number 8 Always Works Well, this wasn't one of them"