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Joke of the Day
"Remember: Before you were Mommy's little darling you were Daddy's little squirt."
Next Joke
"""Honey, let's have a baby."" - a cannibal couple discussing dinner plans."
"Me: Did it hurt when you fell from Kevin? Friend: Yes, because Kevin's friggin tall and sucks at giving piggy back rides Kevin: bro"
"34% stats on reddit are made up. . . Like your love life."
"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick down your girlfriend's throat."
"She's a perfect 10 A 4 with a 6-pack under her arm."
"I'd probably die of starvation in England I heard that face sitting is illegal."
"I wonder if Southern Belles say ""I do declare"" a lot when they're doing their taxes."
"I am eternally grateful to whoever donated organs for my surgery... I'll always hold a little piece of them close to my heart."
"""Some say I have a drinking problem"" *pours glass of water on lap*"