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Joke of the Day

"911? I'm a man trapped in a woman's body! ""That's not exactly an emergency."" Oh. Huh. Ok. *Tries door in Statue of Liberty again*"

"I heard a woman got hit by a motorcyclist the other day... It made me wonder, who the fuck rides a motorcycle into someone's kitchen?"

"What goes round the middle of the Internet? The e-quator."

"Blasphemous jokes http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/ubv1y/whats_the_best_religious_or_antireligious_joke/ Yes, it is in /r/atheism, but there are some really good ones in there"

"Me: your dress is too revealing Wife: wear your own clothes then"

"My daughter did a cart wheel and slammed her head right into the coffee table. That's all the DNA test I need."

"How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep? You rocket"

"If I had a nickel for everytime I was asked for... ...Change, I still wouldn't give it to the homeless guy"

"Chuck Norris's version of a ""chocolate milkshake"" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel."

"When your coworker tells you they are getting a divorce a high five is not the right answer. Or so I've been told. Twice now."