48397

Joke of the Day

"Kanye West says he's the Michael Jordan of music. If he's talking about the time when Michael Jordan was playing baseball, I totally agree."

"What do you call a drill on the North Pole that just wants to get to know people? An icebreaker"

"""Bro check out that DILP."" ""Where? Wait what's a DILP?"" ""Dog I'd Like to Pet."""

"How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner."

"""Wanna see a movie?"" ""Can't. Don't exist yet."" ""Shit."" (1700s)"

"Why do people beat their clocks? To kill time."

"got removed from r/showerthoughts but... Helen Keller really only knew a hand-full of words..."

"You know what really grindes my gears? When I don't push the clutch down far enough."

"Parenting tip: Unplug the microwave before dropping acid because you'll inevitably put the baby in there for safe keeping."

"Oscar Pistorius wanted a new bathroom door... ...but his girlfriend was against it."