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Joke of the Day

"I was sitting on the toilet at 11:59 pm The clock turned to 12:00 and I thought to myself, ""Same shit, different day."""

"Helen Keller walks into a bar... Then she walks into a table. Then she walks into a chair."

"So this pirate walks into a bar and he has the ships wheel attached to his hips. The bar tender says, ""wow that looks uncomfortable!"" The pirate responds, ""ARGH ITS DRIVING ME NUTS!!!"""

"All these women marching in protest is so well organized I'd love to talk to the man in charge."

"Told my daughter I was into incest... She's taking it pretty hard..."

"My grandmother always wanted to be in a gated community So that's why I chose to have her buried at the cemetery when she died."

"I went to the zoo... I went to the zoo yesterday and I was disappointed to see the only animal they had was a single dog. It's a shih tzu."

"What's the fastest way to lose weight? Puking and shitting at the same time."

"wat apple fanboy caled it an ""apple fanboy"" insted of an ""iDiot"""

"If my open tray table can really hinder a landing we really need to rethink the whole air travel thing."