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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between Christmas music and Kobe Bryant? Christmas music will still be playing next year."

"Fun trick to play on your partner: ""Don't you remember what day this is?"""

"Why do they call it Black Friday? Because it's the only day blacks can afford to go shopping"

"I couldn't find my credit card this morning. Someone must have swiped it. I'm sorry."

"Only 5 days until Facebook is stacked with return to the gym statuses and pictures of salads."

"Picture me and my boyfriend on a dinner date Wrong We're sitting on the same side of the table making you uncomfortable"

"Does anyone else find it ironic when a celebrity with a face full of Botox talks about having the freedom of expression?"

"*I throw u a kiss* *u duck* *it flies into space* [6 bn yrs later - the planet Xargx] LORD ZARG: Kill the- *kiss hits his cheek* LZ: Aww nvm"

"What's the difference between Jeb Bush and my toilet? My toilet is still running."

"A girl phoned me the other day and said...""Come on over, there's nobody home."" I went over. Nobody was home."