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Joke of the Day

"A woman walks into a beauty salon and asks the beautician, can you make me look like Kim Kardashian? Beautician says: you want me to put a black cock in your mouth?"

"Some people have 32 teeth while others have 10... It's simple meth."

"American Dance Music haha"

"All the good ones are taken. All the funny ones are fat. All the smart ones are ugly. All the ones with all of the above are fictional."

"Yo mama is so fat... That the sorting hat put her in the waffle house!"

"I'd really love to study Philosophy... But I Kant."

"I hope at the end of the movie, Batman and Superman have to sit down and write a list of all the things they appreciate about each other."

"So, we tip the pizza delivery guy, but not ambulance drivers."

"I stayed at my girlfriends family's place durring the Christmas break. Her father was being a prick and wouldn't let us sleep together, which is a shame, because he is a real good looking guy."

"[Walks into a bar] A forgetful women of three children walks into a bar, intensely focused on knitting a sweater for her eldest... Whoops, wrong thread."