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Joke of the Day

"Double leg amputees are the worst... ...I can't stand them"

"[drake deepthroating a fully cooked sausage] I'm on my wurst behavior"

"My girlfriend says she prefers a dildo over me. I never saw it coming"

"Sex so good, you get out of bed to see which neighbor is having it."

"Christmas tree's for single mom's Just big enough for her to carry by herself"

"MISSING: 5 year old LAST SEEN: Moments after I said, ""Bath time."" DESCRIPTION: Naked, sporting 20-23 Spider-Man band-aids"

"Oh thank goodness, you posted another selfie. I almost forgot what you looked like since the selfie 5 minutes ago."

"What two words have thousands of letters in them? Post office."

"""Young man do you think you can handle a variety of work?"" ""I ought to be able to. I've had ten different jobs in four months."""

"Why did the New Yorker sleep under an oil tank? He wanted to wake up oily."