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Joke of the Day

"Daddy! I am hungry! I want to eat! You should be ashamed, son. When I was your age, I wanted to be an astronaut."

"What do gamers plant in their garden? Skill trees! **Dances wildly with top hat and cane**"

"flappy bird misunderstanding someone told me to get flappy bird. trying to pick up women from my local bingo hall, was not what they meant."

"What do you call a midget king? ""Your shortness."""

"Did you hear about the Texan who moved to Oklahoma and raised the IQ level of both states?"

"I usually spend my Sundays texting apologies but I've had an alcohol free weekend now I have nothing to do."

"What Time Is It? Its time for lunch."

"Your honor let the records indicate my client was upsexy Judge: what's upsexy? [lawyer whispers to defendant] quick, this is your chance"

"A blonde walks into a bar She asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gives it to her."

"Why do I tell jokes in elevators? Because they're funny on many levels."