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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Texan who moved to Oklahoma and raised the IQ level of both states?"

"The sight of naked cleavage reduces a man's ability to reason by 50% ... Per boob."

"Oh look, it's raining outside. I think I'll go on Facebook and update all my friends that don't have a window of their own."

"Where does the Federal Reserve hide all of its dirty profits? In debasement."

"Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent."

"I have a concrete strip on my front lawn painted to look like a slip n slide and every summer 10 to 15 kids learn a valuable lesson on it."

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire"

"What's the difference between a proclamation from the Vatican and a mail-order husband from ebay? One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date."

"If we are going lose the Washington Redskins, are we getting rid of the Scalpers too?"

"I only drink out of jugs labelled XXX and I carry my money in a big sack with a dollar sign on the side. Everyone thinks I'm cool as hell."