48125

Joke of the Day

"Trump's ego is so big... Trump's ego is so big that when he bangs a super-model, he closes his eyes and imagines he's jerking off. -Seth Macfarlane, CC Roast of Trump"

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because when she reaches 69, she gets a frog in her throat."

"An employee saw his boss fucking a girl inside a car. Employee: ""Nice boss, you enjoying alone, when will it be my turn?"" Boss: ""After the girl"""

"God: [returning from year-long sabbatical] So, how's 2016 been? Did you cope OK? Intern who was left in charge: [looks awkward] Yep. Fine."

"Unrestrained children in the back seat can cause accidents. Unrestrained accidents in the back seat can cause children."

"My neighbors thought the tombstones in my yard were festive until they saw their pets' names scrawled on them."

"My mind is made up... I'm Frankenstein."

"What are a psychoanalysts first words to a suicide bomber? ""What makes you tick?"""

"Do other animals have signature tranquilizers, or are horses just especially stressed out?"

"Why did the blonde have bruises around her belly button? Because blonde guys are stupid too."