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Joke of the Day

"God: [returning from year-long sabbatical] So, how's 2016 been? Did you cope OK? Intern who was left in charge: [looks awkward] Yep. Fine."

"I was gonna tell a pedophile joke but I always come in a little behind."

"Mom called to ask if I'd take her shopping. Me: What time? Mom: Anytime between 1-4. Apparently my Mom works for the cable company now."

"You do a lot of yoga? ""Yeah"" So you must be really...(winks) annoying"

"""Alcohol is just water with feelings in it,"" said the girl who failed chemistry."

"Have you heard about the new Web MD zodiac? All the signs say Cancer."

"I saw my first porn yesterday I was so young back then...."

"what do you call a 5 man group all asians and makes gay music k-pop!"

"So the Irish are pissed... ...drunk. ... Yeah."

"I haven't said a word to my wife in years. She hates to be interrupted..."