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Joke of the Day

"Why is the quadratic formula so cool? Because it has 'ac'."

"When is a bicycle not a bicycle? When it turns into a driveway."

"What happens when the smog rises in Los Angeles...? . . . . UCLA."

"Did you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory? The only thing left was de-brie"

"I gotta imagine one of the worst things you can do is shit your snowsuit."

"What is the difference between a midget politician and syphilis? One is a cunning runt."

"I sprayed Taylor Swift's new perfume on me then started writing a five page letter to the boy who forgot to put a straw in my bag at Arby's."

"What did Helen Keller do when she was drowning? She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue."

"I just told a cow that he's being watched. I always like to make beef stew."

"In my 20s, I was bullied by a crow the size of a chicken for several months."