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Joke of the Day

"Auto correct changed ""mingle"" to ""mangle,"" and now I've been uninvited to a Superbowl party."

"The Nintendo 64 turns 18 this week... Which means you can now legally blow the cartridges."

"[Penn and Teller getting a loan for their comedy act] ""Ok all you guys need is a name"" *they look around bank for ideas*"

"How spicy would you like your clairvoyants? Medium."

"Why do women wear white wedding dresses? So the dishwasher can match the refrigerator and stove"

"*Chooses paper towels instead of the hand dryer right as a tree walks into the bathroom*"

"I was having sex last night and had an epiphany right before I climaxed... I guess you could say that I came to a realisation."

"Since everyone is writing a poem, please don't read mine [deleted]"

"A man was writing a book with over 1,000 pages. It's too long of a story to explain why."

"My mom just texted me to say that her dog killed 2 groundhogs in her backyard this morning so I think she may be doing Groundhog Day wrong."