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Joke of the Day

"Mark Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter. He runs Facebook."

"They say the best way to prepare your kids for loss in later life is to have pets. So I bought a puppy and shot it in front of them. I'm not having my kids growing up damaged."

"Sometimes I masturbate while driving The passengers on my bus don't like it, but the high school hasn't fired me yet..."

"Why are gay guys good helpers when moving? They know how to pack your shit."

"It doesn't matter what you order at Taco bell... You're going to end up with Taco-ria"

"Want to hear a short joke and a long joke? Joke, Joooooooke!"

"Why can't Pakistanis play soccer? Whenever they get a corner they set up a convenience store"

"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain Bolt can finish off a race"

"Don't you wish people could be like money? So you could hold them up to the sun and see which ones are fake and which are real?"

"Why can't the dutch fly? Because they netherland."