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Joke of the Day

"Why wasn't toto as excited as dorothy when they traveled the yellow brick road? he missed the rains down in africa"

"Hillary Clinton could be the first f president I was going to write female but the emale got deleted."

"""Hippos are actually more dangerous than crocodiles and sharks combined."" - Moron who clearly hasn't pictured a Crocoshark."

"I can't wait until humans move to a new planet and someone says, 'Remember having 24-hour days?' and some jerk responds, 'First world problems.' -Geoffrey Asmus"

"There's a strong correlation between the amount of pre-made holes in a guy's jeans & his level of douchiness."

"tired of people always telling me go to hospital and that i've lost a lot of blood, its my severe head injury not yours stay out of it"

"Why can't you hear the bass on Metallica's And Justice For All album? Because they threw the bass player under the bus."

"What's the similarity between women and dogshit? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up."

"Why are vegetarians good in giving head? Because they are used to eating nuts!"

"""GET A TREE"" - what I just yelled at two squirrels doing it on my lawn"