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Joke of the Day

"I used to brag that my dad worked in the food court. I thought he was a food lawyer. Shoulda wondered why a lawyer would wear a sbarro shirt"

"Turtle to turtle: ""Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"""

"What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support soon people are going to think we're nuts."

"We were promised flying cars and instead all we got were magic glowing rectangles to access all the world's knowledge :("

"What kind of paperwork do I need to fill out to get a permit to set my children free in the wild?"

"Commercial for Twitter dot com: *man yells nonsense out his window* Narrator: Don't you wish there were a better way?"

"I've found out recently the worst way to start a bennefit gig for abused children is with an apology"

"Whats the hardest part about roller skating Telling your parents you are gay"

"What's the difference between yogurt and America? Yogurt could develop a culture after 200 years"

"Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines!"