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Joke of the Day

"Apparently there are midget prostitutes in Thailand who cost less than a dollar. Clearly they're selling themselves short."

"What did one amorous flea say to the other? I love you aw-flea."

"Anjelica Huston got married to the inventor of autocorrect and now her legal name is Ageless Ice Houseboat."

"What do you call 500 dead lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean? A good start"

"The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. You don't need a lightbulb when you have a glass ceiling."

"If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to to stand in front of them!"

"I lost 140 unwanted, useless, life-sucking pounds - in only 6 weeks! I got a divorce."

"I have a friend who won't admit that he dresses up as Santa every year. He's pretty deep in the Clauset."

"How did Samwell Tarly survive against white walkers? survival of the fattest"